Friday, July 17, 2009

Cardioversion


I've had problems with Atrial Fibrillation since at least May of 2008. It more than likely was earlier than that. However in May of that year I was hospitalized three and a half days until the intraveneous medication, Amiodarone and digoxin, converted my heart beat to normal sinus rhythm.

However this May I once again found myself in the hospital with Atrial Tachacardia. The diagnosis was Atrial Flutter. This is akin to Atrial Fibrillation, but the atrium or top chambers of the heart are beating with a stronger irregular pattern.

The introveneous medication was not helpful this time. Yesterday I found myself in the cardiac catheterization lab of St. Elizabeth Hospital awaiting the electro-cardioversion procedure, accompianied by my poor nervous wife.

I don't know if I wasn't upset because I am just plain tired of feeling so tired or I am faithful that God is taking care of me. I just couldn't get upset about it. I'd read as much as I could about the procedure. In fact I view several videos on Youtube of cardioversion. I had to wait until my coumadin level was at least 2.0 for three weeks in a row before I could have the procedure. There is a risk of developing a blood clot, hence the coumadin therapy. The day prior I had to have blood work run. And then came yesterday. C-Day


I arrived at the hospital at 11 AM and was directed to the cardiac catheterization department. From here a nurse at the station in the room's center announced, "We have been waiting for you." She took some information from me and escorted me to an area that had a stretcher,a couple of chairs, some monitoring equipment and an IV pole. I was presented with a lovely green gown that was too small for me. My heinie stuck out the back and it ended about five or so inches below my crotch.
This attire would be fashionable for a 16 year underfed high school girl, but not so for a chubby boy of 57 years. How those young girls walk around without embarrassment is beyond me. But back to the subject at hand. At least I had a sheet to cover up with.

I was probed, prodded, stuck, squeezed and examined. You know all the usual hospital stuff. They had a very interesting new thermometer. It looked sort of like a rachet wrench that the nurse dragged across my forehead and down my left cheek. It instantly provided my temperature. We are getting closer to Star Trek technology all the time.

Shortly after that another nurse introduced herself as Casey. She unlocked the stretcher I had been lying on and wheeled me down the hall after I kissed my wife. I arrived in a catheterization lab. It had a panel of six 19" flatscreen computer monitors that were hanging from a boom attached to the ceiling. On one screen was a view of the prior patients heart and cardiac arteries. On another screen I could see the program that Casey was running when she moved the mouse.

Another nurse named Mary Ann helped loosen my tiny gown, while Casey attached a pad with a metallic undersurface to my left upper chest and another directly behind it on my back. Wires were connected to the pads. I also was fitted with some more sticky thingies to attach the EKG leads.

About this time Dr. Kevin Miller came in the room. The nurses kidded him because he had to wear a white coverall over his street clothes. They said he looked like the Sta-puff Marshmellow Man. He is far too skinny for that comparison. He looked more like he was wearing a white rabbit suit without the tail.


The nurse had drawn up a syringe full of a white substance she called "Mothers Milk", because it was so soothing. Dr. Miller told my I was getting Diprivan and commented, "This is the Michael Jackson drug", since it has been reported that Jackson was taking this as a sleep potion. The last thing I heard was one of the nurses commenting, "it will make you a great dancer." After that the ceiling started spinning and I was hallucinating that someone was asking me all these questions and I had to push around the computer mouse on my stretcher to click on the correct answers.

I started to awaken and found my right index finger still pressing on the scoll button of the hallucinigenic mouse. Dr. Miller announced I was back in normal sinus rhythm. I was cogniscent enough to ask how many times I had to be zapped. He said, "one time only." I then asked the nurses when the pain would kick in. They said if you are not in pain now, you will not be in pain. I was then covered up and wheeled back to my cubby hole. I had apparently had already been redressed and the patches were removed. Linny, my wife, was beaming. Dr. Miller had already spoken with her and told her I was a textbook case for cardioversion.

I had to stay around for about an hour until the Michael Jackson drug wore off. After a while I was told to get up and try walking around. I suggested I would, but could they find something to cover up my keister. So another gown was draped around my backside and I walked around just fine. I was offered some food, but I just wanted a big drink of water and to go home.

I was wheeled out by a nurse aide to the sidewalk outside to await Linny with our car.

I was making idle chit-chat with the nurse aide when a couple of girls were walking toward us. One of the girls had on a blouse that revealed just about all of what is usually not revealed. The nurse aide was going on how awful this was. I suggested perhaps she is a representative of the LaLeache League coming to do a demonstation of wet nursing. We had a laugh and I went home.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Your Physics Joke of the Day

Two atoms were running down a road when they collided with one another.

The first atom says, "I'm sorry. Are you alright"

The second atom replied, "I've lost one of my electrons."

The first atom says, "Are you sure?"

The second atom replies, "I'm positive."

click here

Friday, July 10, 2009

More of Marc's Rules of Life


Mens gots to dig.











Women must perform purse excavation.










Some days you're the baby...









...Some days you're the diaper.











You should never argue with a crazy man.
















All women's shoes are designed by men that hated their mother.












The good ol' days weren't all that good.

Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Chinese Ethnic Violence

Did you know that within China there are 56 ethnic groups? Here are a few of them.

Over the weekend there are reports of violence between two Chinese ethnic groups.






The Wiggers...

The Chinese pronounce it "Weegars" and spell it Uihgars. Trust me, they are no different than the USA version.







...and the Huns.

The Chinese pronounce it Hans. Hans, Huns, whatever!













Can't we all just get along?

Saturday, July 04, 2009

More Jackson

You will need a ticket to attend Michael Jackson's memorial service? $25 plus any service fee will get you there if your name is drawn.

Pardon my mid-western ethics, but I have never heard of having to purchase tickets to go to a memorial service. Other artists have passed away who had millions of adoring fans. I've seen video of them filing past the deceased.

I'm old enough to remember where I was when President Kennedy was assassinated and the reaction of the nation following that event. I watched black & white TV coverage for the next several days and can still hear the drum cadence as the caisson bearing Kennedy passed through Washington DC for him to lie in state at the Capitol. There were no tickets for that event.

Shortly after John Lennon was pronounced dead thousands gathered in front of his apartment building. His widow, Yoko Ono, asked them to convene the following Sunday in Central Park for a memorial service.

Over 100,000 attended with similar events throughout the World. Liverpool was essentially shut down. People the world over spent 10 minutes in silence at Ono's request. No one needed tickets.


Elvis died in August of 1977 and thousands lined the street in front on his mansion to pay their respects. The crowd was orderly and well-behaved despite being in 90+ degree heat. Two days later the same crowd lined the same street to catch a glimpse of their idol being driven to his final rest. They were eventually permitted to file respectfully past his grave. No thought was given to selling tickets.


I realize that the state of California is facing a severe financial crisis to the point it does not have money to pay for services. I also realize the Staples Center is a for profit business.

News reports say 11,000 tickets for The Staples Center were printed and another 6,500tickets were offered for the adjacent facility with closed-circuit Jumbo tron viewing. The tickets were sold by lottery at $25 each. Other news reports state that the memorial service was paid for from private donors.

In the scheme of things, $437,500 that will be recouped from ticket sales is probably not a lot of money for such an event. Perhaps the ticket policy is just a means of crowd control. I don't know.

I am just appalled by the prospect of selling tickets to a memorial service.

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

Jackson

Michael Jackson who proclaimed himself The King Of Pop has left the building. It is terrible that he was only 50 years old when he died. If I was a betting man, I'd bet the truth is never told about the cause of his death. Healthy people just don't have heart attacks at age 50.


The media has now provided an onslaught of Michael Jackson. You get ready to watch your favorite episode of CSI or Law & Order and it's pre-empted by a Michael Jackson interview that was done three years ago. Cable news quit talking about anything but Michael Jackson. Flip on the radio, it's all Michael, all the time. The newspaper and online news have a new Michael Jackson update every day.


We are told that Michael Jackson was a musical genius. There will never be anyone again like Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson was the world's greatest dancer. Michael Jackson gave the Black Man hope. Michael Jackson sold more records than anyone.

Excuse me if I don't join in the platitudes. Michael Jackson was not a musical genius. He was very intuitive in what sounds were popular. He could put words to those sounds and he could sing a line to a musician so the guitarist or keyboard player could interpret it. Amadeus Mozart was a musical genius. Ludwig Van Beethoven was a musical genius. J. Sebastian Bach was a musical genius. Michael Jackson was not a musical genius. I have my doubts that he was the world's greatest dancer. But then again, I know nothing about dancing. And I don't think Michael Jackson had been Black for years.


The fact is, Michael Jackson slept with little boys! He even admitted that he slept with little boys. Although he claimed nothing sexual happened when he was with these children, this was wrong in so many ways.


In my opinion Michael Jackson's legacy was to show us what it is like to have lots of money and blow it on useless crap. Whether you are Black or White, if you are blessed with the ability to earn a fortune in your lifetime, please hold up Michael Jackson as an example of what not to do.


I am sorry for his family and children that he has passed away so young. I wonder if Neverland will become Graceland West. Elvis' estate is earning more money than Elvis ever did.