We Have Officially Entered the Modern Age - Wooden Airplanes

One of my fond childhood memories is asking Mom for 25 cents so I could by a balsa wood airplane. They came packaged in a plastic bag. Once you were the proud owner, you emptied the contents on the ground and readied yourself to assemble your flying machine.

The body was fairly firm, but the wings were quite delicate. They were machine pressed into the balsa. You prayed that you didn't split the wings while breaking off the excess wood.

The next crucial step was inserting the wings into the plastic clip that slid onto the fuselage Some models merely had a slit in the body. Inserting the tail was an equally delicate procedure for an 8 year old.

Voila! You are finally done and ready to toss your plane into the air and see how far it will go. After a few flights of 10 or 12 feet each, the plane eventually crashes into a tree and because it is balsa, the plane is demolished.

The more expensive planes came with a propeller that was operated by a rubber band and some came with landing gear. My neighborhood was lacking in appropriate runways and the wheeled craft needed a very smooth surface for take-off, but the propeller driven craft were...neat!

We used to say neat a lot. The motor was a rubber band that was attached to the rear-end of the plane. You would wind it as tight as possible. Instead of tossing your plane in the air, you merely held it overhead and let loose of the rubber band and watched it fly away. Of course it too hit a tree, crashed and the balsa was broken beyond repair.


At 56 years old I think my days of flying model planes are behind me, however this past weekend I went to pick up my wife who was shopping at Hobby Lobby.

As I wandered the isles looking for my sweet lady, I spied the invention that assured me we have truly entered the 21st Century. As GE's motto used to say, "Better Living Through Science". Yes modern man has created the Balsa wood Airplane Electric Rubber band Propeller Winder with Counter." Incredible! I mean Neat!

No longer does a boy have to wile away his young life turning the plane's rubber band propeller by use of his finger. All he needs is this device and 2 AA batteries.

Life is grand!

Life In A Fantasy World - Dennis the Menace

As a child,Hank Ketchum was so fascinated by one of his father's friends that was an illustrator, he began taking lessons from this gentleman at an early age. As an adult, his talent developed and he landed a job working for Walter Lantz Studios, the company that produced several different popular cartoons, the most famous being Woody Woodpecker. Later Ketchum was hired as an illustrator for Disney and worked on several of their many animated features.

After a stint in the US Naval Reserve in WWII, he married a lady named Alice Mahar and in 1951 started work on a comic strip about his 4 year old son, Dennis.

His wife provided the inspiration for the cartoon when one day she burst into her husband's studio complaining that his son had wrecked his bedroom instead of taking a nap and loudly proclaimed "Your son is a menace." Dennis the Menace still graces the pages of the local newspaper as a syndicated comic strip even though Ketchum died in 2001. It continues through the work of his assistants Marcus Hamilton and Ronald Ferdinand.


What is sad is the real Dennis Ketchum did not lead the storybook life portrayed in the comic strip, the TV show or the movies. His mother, Alice Ketchum was an alcoholic. Hank Ketchum was too busy to deal with a young son and Dennis had learning difficulties. The parents divorced and Dennis was sent to a boarding school in Switzerland. His mother died of an accidental drug overdose at age 41. Hank Ketchum had remarried but did not raise the boy. Because of difficulty at the Swiss boarding school, Ketchum placed Dennis in a boarding school in the United States.

Dennis Ketchum joined the Marine Corp after graduating from high school and fought in Viet Nam. Upon his return from combat he went through a series of low paying jobs. He was married, divorced and as became estranged from his own daughter.

Yet since 1951 the mischievous four year old has never gotten older, nor has his mother, Alice or his father Henry (Hank). They still live in a white frame house surrounded by a picket fence with the lovable family dog, Ruff. Dennis' parents are very much in love. In fact the pages of the comic are examples of Americana circa 1950.

Through his comic strip fantasy, Hank Ketchum became a millionaire and started a new family, all the while ignoring reality.

Heart Attack?

My family doctor, thinks I had a heart attack last week. My cardiologist stated that I was in Atrial Fibrillation, but didn't use the words heart attack. So I don't know. I generally equate a heart attack with myocardial infarction.

I do know that I am feeling much better. My heart still skips a beat periodically, but my pulse is steady and my blood pressure is right around 110/60. I am losing some weight, but I need to lose more. My blood glucose has been from 150 to 93. I am trying.


My family doc stated that atrial fibrillation is caused by 1. a heart attack 2. an old heart. I am becoming a fossil, but I'm not ready for Shady Acres just yet. Besides Shady Acres smells like poo and lotion.



Atrial Fibrillation involves the upper two chambers of the heart that pump in blood. They are beating arrhymically and way too fast, so not enough blood is capable of being pumped throughout the system.

One of the big concerns if the condition persists is clotting of the blood that can lead to stroke. Something occurs with the SA node (sinoatrial node) that causes the electricity generated by the heart to become disorganized due to impulses from the atrium and the pulmonary veins. This condition can become chronic and may need to be treated through catheterization or surgical based therapies if medication does not work. One method to correct cardiac rhythm is through electoshock therapy. The other method would be administering drugs introveneously.

The follow up is done through echocardiography to check for thrombosis. Then rate therapy is done orally through several different drugs.

I have been monitoring my vital signs and all appears well.

P Is For Ptosis

I woke up Friday morning with another sinus infection. I drug myself into work in hopes that massive quantities of coffee would encourage the bug to leave my system. Unfortunately by Friday evening it was worse. I took some antibiotics and sinusitus medicine and stayed in bed all weekend in hopes that I would be well by Monday. I feel a little better, but am still not up to snuff.



One morning I was listening to NPR and heard an interview of Pete Seeger discussing some ancient librel event where he sang a few songs to enhance the fervor. One of the songs was called T is for Texas. I always thought it to be a Jimmy Rodger's song. I wasn't aware it was a protest number.

Anyway, my feverish mind came up with this ditty.

P is for Ptosis,

P is for Pterygium.

P is for Ptosis,
P is for Pterygium
And although the P is silent
You got to put it where it am.






P is for Pneumonia,
P is for Psoriasis.

P is for Pneumonia,
P is for Psoriasis,
No matter how thinly you slice it,
you must use P no matter what.






It's never going to make the hit parade. Do they even have a hit parade anymore?

I think I'll just take a pill and lie down now.

Racoon Eyes

My wife and I were at Cracker Barrel last night enjoying a nice meal when a family of three, sat down At a table directly behind me.

As I was enjoying my turnip greens and country fried steak and attempting to discuss issues of the day with my wife, I became distracted by the family's teen daughter. She was constantly tugging at her skin tight jeans in an effort to cover her belly button. There was something about her that was very familiar. Yes it was that look on her face.

Her dyed blond hair showed dark brown roots. But it was her eyes that really fascinated me. Perhaps fascinated is not the correct word. Appalled is more of what I was thinking. Her eyes were encircled by a ring of dark black eyeliner. It appeared that she had taken a medium point black Sharpie Marker and marked out an elipse for each eyelid.


Yes sir, I have seen that look too many times before. In fact in 1969 when I was going to high school I can recall there was at least one or two girls in my classes that wore that same look. And when I left high school and worked at my first job, there were several nurse aides and other ladies that made themselves up each day, with big black eyeliner circles. Even when I was self employed I had hired a couple of young ladies that demonstrated their fashion sense with large black eyeliner circles.



Have you have ever seen the movie, Blade Runner, that came out in 1982? This movie featured a character, played by Darryl Hannah, named Pris. Pris is a prime example of what my wife calls the "Racoon Eye" look. I'm a little more blunt. I call it The Skank Look. The teen girl behind me at Cracker Barrel had that Skank Look with the Racoon Eyes.


Which bring me to my latest theory. Is the Racoon Eye look handed down from Skank to Skank? Is there a cable or pay-per-view TV show that educates young ladies on the art of looking skankie? Perhaps there is a magazine devoted soley to the application of make-up for that I am easy and have no self esteem whatsoever, so please use me and discard me look.


I don't know how this look has manage to survive for over 40 years. In all probability it is a fashion statement that is much older than I am.

My own kids look at old pictures of me and their mother and see a couple of dorks. So why does a 13 or 14 year old girl want to look just like that same 13 or 14 year old girl that sat next to me back in 1969 in Mrs. Rigg's America history class? I have no idea!

I am going to have to think this over. In the mean time I'm going to start carrying around packets of pre-moistened towlettes and offering them to ladies that I encounter that have Racoon Eyes.

The First Reformed Church Of The Jedi

File this under: Get A Life.

HOLYHEAD, Wales (AP)

A man who dressed up as Darth Vader, wearing a garbage bag for a cape, and assaulted the founders of a group calling itself the Jedi church was given a suspended sentence Tuesday.



Arwel Wynne Hughes, 27, attacked Jedi church founder Barney Jones—aka Master Jonba Hehol—with a metal crutch, hitting him on the head, prosecutors told Holyhead Magistrates' Court.

He also whacked Jones' 18-year-old cousin, Michael Jones—known as Master Mormi Hehol—bruising his thigh in the March 25 incident, prosecutors said.

The two cousins and Barney Jones' brother, Daniel, set up the Church of Jediism, Anglesey order, last year. Jedi is the faith followed by some of the central characters in the "Star Wars" films.

The group, which claims about 30 members, says on its Web site that it uses "insight and knowledge" from the films as "a guide to living a better and more worthwhile life."

"We all love the films and what they stand for. Obviously some people are going to laugh about it," the Wales on Sunday newspaper quoted Barney Jones as saying last month. "But a lot of people do take it seriously."

Unfortunately for Hughes, his March attack was recorded on a video camera that the cousins had set up to film themselves in a light saber battle.

"Darth Vader! Jedis!" Hughes shouted as he approached.

Hughes claimed he couldn't remember the incident, having drunk the better part of a 21/2-gallon box of wine beforehand.


"He knows his behavior was wrong and didn't want it to happen but he has no recollection of it," said Hughes' lawyer, Frances Jones.

District Judge Andrew Shaw sentenced Hughes to two months in jail but suspended the sentence for one year. He also ordered Hughes to pay $195 to each of his victims and $117 in court costs.

In the 2001 United Kingdom census, 390,000—0.7 percent of the population—listed Jedi as their religion.

Birthdays

It's my birthday today. I'm 56 years old.























My wife's birthday was on Saturday.
























All I want is peace on earth and goodwill toward men.

It Takes A Village - We've heard that one before!

I was checking out some other blogs this week and came across some comments in Andrew Jackson's blog, SmartChristian. http://www.smartchristian.com/

Andrew laments the situation in San Angelo Texas and compares it to Waco. He says, "When I read about the abrupt raid on the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints’ ranch compound in Angelo, Texas, the barbaric burning raid of the David Koresh Waco compound came immediately to my mind."

Mr. Jackson, I must respectfully disagree with your opinion. And since the SmartChristian blog does not accept replies, I will now present my view on the subject.




Although the situation in San Angelo, Texas is pathetic, it is not the fault of the Court. The procedure is being handled in the same manner that any other child abuse case is handled, with the child’s safety as the primary concern. The child is removed from the parents and placed into protective custody until the allegations of abuse are proven or disproven.





The allegation that adult males are involved with minor females would be a serious and illegal problem in most of these United States. News reports hint there are enough children born to girls that were underage at the time of conception to go forward with prosecution of this organization.



And though this cult states that it seeks to separate itself from society, it is reported they receive government assistance through welfare and food stamps. The members refer to this as “bleeding the beast”. In other words, they want to remain separate from society, yet they do not mind being subsidized by "my tax dollars at work." News reports state this cult starts impregnating young girls once they reach puberty through spiritual marriage (whatever that is supposed to be). In other words, these girls are breeding stock.



And because the adult men do not want competition by adolescent boys, those boys are sent out of the compound and into the world to repent of their sin. If the men in this cult are not man enough to support the children they have pro-created through spiritual marriage, perhaps their children may be better off in foster homes being cared for by people that have not be brainwashed.



Waco was tragic. San Angelos is tragic. Jonestown was tragic. However any society must follow the just laws set forth by that society. Otherwise we have chaos, which is what we are seeing in San Angleos, Texas with children not knowing their biological parents or having birth certificates. Today's news states that out of 53 girls taken away from this cult that were between the ages of 14 and 17, THIRTY-ONE of them are pregnant or had given birth!!!!



North of where I live is Amish country. The Amish and Mennonites have lived in the world, but apart from the world for decades. They are not a cult. These people read the Bible and believe in Jesus Christ, trust God and work hard. And though their ways may seem strange, they have maintained their community by following the Word of God and the rules of society.

The Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints aka Yearning for Zion has perverted God's law to conform to what they want. Therein lies the tragedy

The Man Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down












We always hear 'the rules' From the female side. What else would Women's Day & Mademoiselle Magazine write about? Well here are the rules from the male side.















These are our rules from a male perspective. Take out a blank piece of paper and take notes or just copy & paste.

Please note: these are all numbered '1 ' ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:

• Subtle hints do not work!
• Strong hints do not work!
• Obvious hints do not work!
• Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, j ust do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

It Snow Use

Wednesday afternoon it was 71 degrees outside. On Thursday the temperature dropped to the 50's but there was a chill in the air. All of the TV weathermen were getting nervous. Like street corner preaches, they were waving their arms and announcing the pending White Armagedon.

"Snow is coming! Snow is coming! Go to the store and purchase everything! You will be locked in your house forever!"


I left for work on Friday morning at 7:45 am and there was snow flurries.

By noon I could see five inches of the stuff in the field outside of my cube.

By the time I arrived home at around 6:30 pm there was about six inches total.

As I ate dinner and scanned TV channels the weather man was practically in tears.


"Blizzard expected tonight. Stay tuned! Watch the crawls! Stay inside! Godzilla is coming! Ah' Godzilla!"






The other station (I am not making this up) was showing viewer photos of their dogs wearing red coats in the snow. In fact they pre-empted regular programs to show dogs in red coats in the snow.


I'm worried about CSI and NUMBERS and all I can see is snow and dogs in snow wear. So I went to bed.



Sure enough I woke up to at least 12 inches of snow on the car's hood. The pathway I shoveled on my walk and my steps were all covered in snow.


You have to understand that Cincinnati does not cope well with snow. It unnerves our weather people. People have no idea how to drive in snow.


"If my car slides do I turn the wheel in the direction of the skid or the other directions? Do I slam or pump the brakes? What do I do with the cell phone? I don't know, I'm so confused?"




Cincinnati turns into Bizzaro World at the first flake.



The TV news maintains vigil at the sacred Temple of Salt off of I-75 wear the old Workhouse used to stand.

Once this acrage was home to a turn of the century prison that actually served as a deterent to crime since no one in their right mind wanted to go to that filthy bastille.


The site was leveled to make room for a 3 story Igloo that houses the city's supply of ice melting product.





I heard the salt truck go down my street about an hour ago. I guess tomorrow I am going to have to shovel the walk and steps again and dig out from the snow.



I will first check out the local TV weather and see what the dogs are wearing.