Tuesday, March 23, 2010

I Read the News Today Oh Boy

From today's news;

Chili Bombs

The Indian military has a new weapon against the world's hottest chili grenades. You heard right, chili grenades.

The Indian military as conducted testing and this product is ready for implementation. The grenade contains bhut jolokia also known as ghost chili. In 2007 the Guinness World Record book recognized this as the World’s hottest chili.

The heat factor of chili peppers is measure in Scoville units, named after Henry Iron Stomach Scoville, the man who would eat anything, who was responsible for the phrase, “If it hurts going in, it sure as heck gonna’ hurt coming out.”

Tabasco sauce measures from 2,500 to 5,000 Scoville units. Jalapenos measure 2,500 to 8,000. But the Bhut jolokia chili is 1,000,000 Scoville units. It hurts thinking about it. Indian people eat these to cure stomach problems and fight the extreme heat of summer. (Yeah that makes sense!!?)

The purpose of the grenade is to fend off mobs, rioters and folks laughing their ass off. There are also plans to create a Mace-like aerosol using bhut jolokia which can also be used as a cooking additive.

Inspector Clouseau meets his rival.

Mosads representative at the Israel embassy in London is being expelled over the use of cloned British passports in the killing of a senior Hamas commander in Dubai, the Telegraph has learned. Though this doesn't seem humous, check out the identities this spy was using.

Breaking In is Hard to Do.

A Brevard County man idiot has been convicted of trying to break into a jail.

Sylvester Jiles was released from jail last August and placed on probation after he struck a plea deal in a manslaughter case. Three days later, he came back to the jail by climbing over the razor wire fence that surrounded the facility.

When the injured Jiles was discovered, cut and bleeding, he begged deputies to let him back.

He was informed of his victim's families plans to kill him.  Paybacks are hell, ain't they!

Well Mr. Jiles is expected to get his wish next week.  He can be convicted of up to 15 years incarceration for trespassing, resisting arrest and parole violation, thus escaping the angry mob for a few years.

Greenpeace fights the evil Kit Kat Candy Bar.

A campaign against Nestle has been launched by Greenpeace International, warns that the popular chocolate bar KitKat uses palm oil from Sinar Mas, one of the largest forestry companies in Indonesia.

The supplier operates in regions where rainforests and peatlands are being replaced by palm tree plantations that eliminate natural habitat and reduce carbon dioxide sinks that help keep the atmosphere clean and fight global warming.

Greenpeace spokesperson Stephanie Sunshine Goodwin said the environmental group does not oppose the use of palm oil or vegetable oil in chocolate bars, but is urging the industry to develop higher standards to ensure production is sustainable. Adding her personal sentiments, "Like wow man, this is really a bummer" and reassuring that Greenpeace will pressure Nestle in changing the recipe for Kit Kat to include Tofu, Soy and Granola.

Something to be proud of.

While clergy sex abuse scandals unfolding across European Catholic Churches, a 2009 survey of the U.S. Catholic Church released Tuesday showed the lowest numbers of child victims, allegations and financial payouts since the annual survey began in 2004.

The survey conducted by independent researchers, but funded by your tithes and offerings rely on data supplied by dioceses. Only 398 victims with credible allegations of clergy sexual abuse came forward in 2009 as opposed to 889 victims in 2004.  The 2009 survey named 286 priests and deacons.  45% of these fellows had not been found out named before. 

Lets give it up for the church with a polite round of applause.

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