Six Days Out Of The Hospital - Still Feeling Bad

It is ten minutes past two o’clock. I’m itching like the devil.  Linny put my psoriasis medicine on my before I went to bed. I slept for about an hour and now I am itching like mad.  I’ve taken two Benadryl tablets and hope it stops.  I have to be up around eight this morning to go to the doctor.

I was at the cardiologist office today. It cost $59 which was $30 for the visit and $29 to fill out forms. I realize they don’t work for free, but right now I don’t work at all and money is tight.  I am so thankful that friends are helping.  I have no idea when I can go back to work. I have no clue as to what the cardiologist said on the forms he returned.  Where is the communication?  I don’t see him again until the end of the month.

Frankly, I am too weak to return to eight hours a day.  My appointment was a ten, so I woke up at 8 am and made a bowl of Rice Krispies for myself and had a glass of orange juice. Then showered, shaved and put on clothes.  Linny was too tired to go with me. She has been working very hard and I understand. It is just that when I get home she wants to know why I didn’t say this or ask that and I wonder why she didn’t just go with me.

Walking is getting more difficult. I don’t know if I am just weaker or scared.  Tonight Linny went to visit her mother and I had to drive over to pick her up.  The driveway for her mom’s condo was still all iced over. I started to walk after parking the car. I got about 10 feet and thought, I have fallen down too many times, screw this!  I parked the car on the street. But it was still iced over in some places.

I feel old since I have to use the chair lift to go up and down the basement stairs.  My hands feel funny. I am dehydrated and it shows in my shriveled up fingers. Touch feels odd.  Eating; everything tastes funny. I cannot imagine it is due to the medicine I take, since I am now taking less than I was before.  We stopped at Skyline Chili on the way home to eat supper. I’m not supposed to have gluten, but the gluten-free spaghetti tasted so bad, that I ate regular Skyline; a three-way and a Coney and neither tasted good or like it used to. I didn’t eat the bun. I only ate about ¾ of my 3-way.  The Pepsi cola tasted odd, so I asked for a glass of water.

God is taking care of me and my family. This is something I firmly believe.  Father Chris thinks I’m stoic. I’m not stoic, I am convinced. And I am tired and itchy and wondering what will happen and when I’ll get back to work.