Today's Groaner

I once saw this pirate at a bar. He had a peg leg, an eyepatch, and a hook for a hand.

I’m a nosey guy, so I asked him "How'd ya get the peg leg?"

"AARRGGH, I was fightin' a huge shark, thrashin around in the water, and I killed the varmint, but it chewed off me leg." He repies.

So I asked him, "How'd ya get the hook?"

"AARRGGHH” ,says he, “ the very next trip, I was reelin' in a giant fightin' barracuda, and I finally landed him after two days, but the rope tore off me arm."

Me being the curious sort, I had to just ask "OK, so how'd ya get the eye patch?"

And he tells me, "AARRGGH, shortly after that, I was standin on me porch, and a seagull crapped in me eye."

I was puzzled and I said, "That's nothing compared with the other stories, why do you have an eyepatch?"

He replies, "It was me first day with the hook."